Don't Hate, Mediate
Pensylvania Confict Resolution & Mediation Services, Inc.
93 Old York Road, Suite 1-427
Jenkintown, PA 19046
Phone: 215-470-0004
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Mediation Services - Don't Hate, Mediate!

We provide mediation services to assist companies, non-profit organizations, government agencies and individuals to resolve or at least manage conflict before arbitration or litigation becomes neccessary.

PCRMS under Dr. Millicent Carvalho has developed a successful approach to conflict resolution, which utilizes several different approaches to conflict resolution as opposed to the boilerplate (one-size-fits-all) approach utilized by the majority of other conflict resolution practitioners.



The Cost of Conflict

We don't need to tell you about the cost of conflict.  You can appreciate how conflict among staff, clients, customers, etc., negatively affects business. Conflict cost money, hinders good thinking and hurts productivity.  Conflict also hinders learning and can take a life.  Notwithstanding a vivid spectrum of philosophies and approaches to conflict resolution has proliferated over the past twenty years, the practice of conflict resolution training has been slow to incorporate the burgeoning renaissance of theory, especially in their applications to change management or real-life, workplace or community conflicts.

One problem is that the first step some make in trying to resolve conflict is to appeal to an individual’s intellect rather than the emotional needs that beg to be addressed.  Individuals have been known to take a life because they felt disrespected.  Appealing to the reasonable mind in these circumstances, before restoring calm, wastes valuable time and is often ineffective.

PCRMS has been effective in empowering individuals to appreciate the connection between disrespect or perceived disrespect and conflict.


Mediation is a voluntary process where a neutral third party (mediator) helps two or more parties in a dispute or conflict to resolve conflict privately and effectively, before lawyers become involved.  Mediation is not a one-size-fits-all practice. There are many different models of conflict resolution including, interest-based, and transformative mediation and conferencing. Each model has optimal effectiveness but under different conditions. 
Conflict resolution theorists generally agree that individuals, in response to conflict, will retaliate, avoid, withdraw or cooperate in an effort to manage conflict. In low assertiveness and low cooperativeness strategies such as avoiding, the goal will generally be “to delay” action.  This is especially evident in situations where decision-making authority (the locus of control) is external to the individual.

Similarly, in situations where the potential harm of confronting the problem is perceived as greater that the benefits of its resolution, individuals will also attempt to avoid conflict.

On the other hand, when there is high assertiveness and high cooperation as in collaborative strategies, the goal is to find a “win-win” solution—an agreement that integrates the concerns of all involved. 

Interest-based Mediation:

In interest-based Mediation, the mediator—a neutral third party helps the parties to resolve their differences by clarifying issues and brainstorming possible solutions to the “problem.”   If an agreement cannot be reached, the mediator will attempt to assist the parties to the point where they can at least “agree to disagree.”

Interest-based strategies seek to separate the person from the problem, that is, “Do not dislike the person--dislike his or her behavior.” Moreover, they stress the importance of a cognitive understanding of the “problem.”  

These are important considerations since a key role of the mediator, in interest-based mediation practice, is to clarify issues and reframe the parties’ statements.    For example, one party says another party,  “ You are a liar.” The mediator would intervene to take the “sting” out of that statement by saying something like.  “You [the disputing parties] see things differently.” 

However, in an attempt to minimize conflict between parties and to forge a consensus between disparaging views, the mediator, in effect, interprets how parties should feel.  It is no wonder parties in mediation sometimes turn to the mediator and ask: “What do you think? What should I do?”  

Unfortunately, in an effort to minimize or at least contain conflict, interest-based mediation practices can maximize conflict.  More importantly, the conflict is not resolved.

Transformative Mediation:

Transformative Mediation focuses on transforming the quality of relationships. The primary role of the mediator is to orient individuals to their own decision-making capabilities and to highlight, in the mediation session, expressions of “recognition” of the experience of the other and their own “empowerment,” that is, decision making efforts.  Mediators acknowledge shifts in perspectives (understanding) and empowerment between the parties, but do not act to foster change, directly. It is important to appreciate that understanding runs deeper than cognition.  Conflict is more than a disagreement regarding facts or compelling disparate interest. Reduce the general state of negative feeling and resentment, and people in conflict will resolve their conflict themselves.

Unfortunately, negative emotions can insulate individuals from understanding the perspective of others, especially when the conflict involves multiple parties.

Other Services by PCRMS:

Restorative Practices/Conferencing

Conferencing is a restorative practice that focuses more on repairing relationships negatively affected by conflict rather than just the conflict that the relationship produces. This is important to consider in situations where there is an ongoing relationship between parties in conflict, multiple parties or parties are indirectly involved but affected by the conflict. We offer both Family and Community Conferencing. Learn more about our Conferencing Services...

Conflict Resolution Coaching

Conducted individually or in small groups. Participants will have an opportunity to gain insight into their own conflict management styles, and gain conflict resolution skills that decrease negative responses in conflict situations and increase cooperative behaviors. Learn more about our Coaching Services...


Training is designed to meet the specific needs of companies, non-profits organizations and government agencies. A boilerplate approach to conflict resolution training is a hit or miss proposition.  If it worked, it would be a stroke of genius. However, it is unlikely that a boilerplate approach to training will work long term, particularly considering the changing dynamics of companies and conflict situations. Learn more about our training packages...

Contact us to discuss your specific needs at 215-470-0004.

Additionally, we produce educational podcasts that show people how to deal with unmitigated conflict in the home, on the streets, in schools and around the world. Visit the Radio Show Website Featuring Dr. Carvalho:
Why Can't We Get Along Radio Show

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